Sunday, October 30, 2011
Church was so good today, I swear one of the sacrament talks was just for me. It was mostly about prayer and how prayers are not always answered the way we hope they will be, or as fast as we are wanting them to be answered. He read a quote about just that, it really touched me, I'm not sure who it was by but it read-"sometimes He calms the storm, and sometimes He lets the storm rage, and He calms the child". Isn't that awesome? I'm pretty sure He is calming me and not my storm, I'm not sure why, but at least I have the strength to get through each day. It's crazy how this talk was an answer to my prayers. I'm embarrassed to admit, but I have been feeling like what is the point in praying? It isn't changing anything and Jared is still not better. I'm all talk cause I have never stopped praying but I was thinking what's the point,and praying to know why my prayers can't be answered, which is awful to think that way. After the talk today it reiterated what I already knew, that my prayers are what's getting me through this mess and making me stronger, Jared may not be getting better as fast as we want but we will be stronger from all this in the end. In the talk he talked about how sometimes our prayers never being answered the way we want them to is our answer, and whatever we are going through is given to us so we can grow and become who he wants us to be. I guess he is wanting me to become a crazy lady! I'm just joking.
So we went to disneyland back in June and I just posted the trip but I back dated it so my blog would go in somewhat of an order, for the purpose of making it into a book. There was some crazy funny pictures of Jared that I wanted everyone to see, since no one would be looking up stuff I blogged in June, I decide to post these pictures so you could get a good laugh! Jared knows where the cameras are on every ride and he trained my kids as well to pose for the camera. So check these out!
Jared is nuts! He took his shirt off and just went on the ride with a zip-up hoody so when it came time he could quickly un-zip the hoody and be shirtless. That isn't me behind him, it's some lady with her kid, she didn't realize until she got off the ride to look at her picture, she was dying laughing. There was literally a crowd around Jareds picture laughing hysterically and people were actually taking a picture of his picture cause the thought it was so funny. Jared said he nailed it, and there is no way he can ever top that! Even Krew and Jade did a pretty good job posing! Look at Jades tongue out, they are all so stinkin' funny.
On Labor Day we went hiking up at Red Rock with my cousins. Krew wore his Harry Potter glasses and a sweatband, when Stephen saw him he said "man why didn't you tell me we were dressing up?" Krew has the best personality he is so funny, just like his dad!Denise said it was a 20 min hike in to this waterfall, after an hour of hiking and still no sight of a waterfall in sight Jared had had it, he was so tired. Jared and Stephen were giving Denise the hardest time, it was pretty funny.He was barely up for a hike anyway, but figured he could manage 20 min. then rest to eat and go back. So we left with Violet, who was only wanting to be carried, and left our other kids with them. It was still fun just not what we expected. I love my cousins!
In Ryders class every week there is a star student of the week, this means they get spotlighted and everyday they get to do something special like bring something for show and tell, bring their favorite book, and one day she had me write a letter to him telling him how special he is to us. He was so excited to fill out this poster and color it, then it gets put up in his class room for the week. In the part where it says"when I grow up" he put that he wants to be an art teacher, I thought that was so cute. Where it says "These are my hobbies" he put soccer, swimming, coloring, riding his bike, and reading. I'm so mad I didn't get a picture of him holding it, oh well.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
So it has begun! What happened to my sweet little girl? She is already acting like a pre-teen! Very, very dramatic. She knew exactly what she wanted wear for picture day(and she wasn't caving) which was her favorite tank top ,with a shrug, with tights! not leggings but with tights, we told her no way since this is a shirt you need leggings not tights, I explained tights go under skirts or dresses, and that this would be immodest. She was insistent because her leggings aren't long enough and they would show part of her leg between the leggings and her boots, which she was not a fan of. I told her it didn't look bad and that last time I checked school pictures are just of your face. She was in tears, and was seriously flipping out over this. She stormed away from me and yelled"I just want to look my best mom!!" I couldn't hold in the laughter. Then she yelled"I'm not going to school tomorrow. I finally told Jared to go deal with her.
So I kid you not she came down in the morning with the leggings on and the tights over them, that's right over them! I said"What are you doing?" she said " I followed the rules! I have leggings on!" She was right, I told her it was a little funny but if she liked it whatever, I was so over fighting about it.
Here is the finished product, since it's all black you couldn't tell unless you were close up.
So Jared has a serious star wars collection, he has about 6 huge bins stuffed with star wars parafinelia. Some of the figurines he has 3 of, so he decided to give a set to the kids, they were in heaven! They literally spent at least 4 hours going though stuff. Jared has been collecting since he was a kid, everything was still in its package, it's crazy how much he has. They loved ripping every last one open.
So we finally got new couches and I love them, plus they are super comfy(well we have had them for a month or 2 now). Jared said "I think we need a few more pillows! Don't you?" Of course he was kidding. It might be alot but I like it. We moved the old ones into the living room that was empty and the same week I got our family pictures back that we ordered on canvas'. Meghan Poort took these photos and I think they look great, she did an amazing job.
My family is obsessed in planking, from the moment my kids learned about it they started planking all over the house. They are good at it cause they don't yell for us to come and look at them, they just plank and wait for us to see them. At soccer Krew planked on the side line it was so funny, other parents were dying laughing, then once we got home from soccer that day Krew and Jade wouldn't stop planking around the house. They were entertained for hours.
Even Violet has gotten into it, occasionally we will hear "Look mom and dad I'm planking!" Jared and her planked out in front of our house the other day on thewall, the other kids and I pulled up to the house and we busted up laughing!
Then Jared had to one up them and got and the roof, when the kids and I pulled up we about died. I told the kids don't you even think of doing this!!!
Friday, October 28, 2011
I was reading some ones blog and came across this quote......
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
I really liked this quote because it so easy to get hung up on how life isn't fair and nothing is going how I planned or how I envisioned my life being right now. I just got home from our wards trunk-or-treat that I took my kids to by myself. I got them all ready hair and make-up, they were so excited to go, unfortunately Jared didn't feel well enough to go when it was time to leave. I was so bummed, the poor guy has grown out a mustache for his costume for this stinkin thing! Seriously it's so hard to not get discouraged why can't we catch a break and why can't he get fully better?! I've been trying hard to stay positive despite how hard my life is but days like this make it difficult. Jared is doing better, but he is still not that great, everyday for him is a struggle and he pretty much fakes it all the time, and I love him for that. If things weren't so bad last year and the beginning of this one I would say things are awful but compared to then things are way better. He isn't sleeping on his lunches or staying after work to sleep to be able to drive home to only go to bed once he got home, but he still doesn't have much energy and feels like crap everyday. Work is all he can handle(barely), which at least he can work, but I can't imagine feeling completely exhausted and achy everyday of life, it really is hard for me to watch knowing he is so miserable, he is good at trying to go to things and helping with the kids more but it's hard for him. Soccer on saturdays wipes him out but at least he is there, some times he leaves early to go home and sleep but he has been to almost all the games this season. I can't believe it has been 16 months since he has been this way, I guess time flies when you are living in chaos, but it does seem like forever since I have seen the old Jared, which makes me sad for both of us. A lot of people say how good he is doing and how good he seems, what they don't realize is if you are seeing him most likely he just got up from a nap to give him the energy to go wherever we are going and the second we get home he is back in bed, but at least he is going to events or whatever it is we have to do. I have learned to be greatful for whatever help he can offer, I can't believe how much easier life is for me when he has the energy to help, I feel sooo bad for single parents, it's truly is awful doing it all on your own.
I loved Pres. Uchtdorfs talk at the General RS meeting about the forget me not flower and the 5 things the petals represent. I loved all the things the petals represent but my favorite one was not to wait for your golden ticket in life and to basically be happy with your life now and where you are at, not always thinking it will get better or be better someday, we need to enjoy it now. That was good for me to be reminded of that, to try to be happy and not to get down or be negative. I need to accept the way my life is and be happy, and enjoy my kids now, not to keep thinking I will be happy once Jared is better, cause who knows when that will be. So for now I just need to count my blessings and smile! I have found that serving others and Jared helps me to be happier and to forget about my own problems or how hard my life is. I am so thankful for this talk. If you didn't hear his talk it is amazing and definitely worth looking up online or reading it.