gratitude day 5

I just love my sweet brother Ryan. Today was his 30th birthday, for those of you that don't Ryan he struggles with some major mental problems, and lives in a group home. He was so excited to be 30, he calls me just about everyday(our conversations are very comical!) and the last 2 months he has reminded me it's his birthday and that he is going to be 30 and if I have any advice for him on entering his 30's. We really do have the same conversations almost every time, they always start off with"Hey Toni it's your baby brother RyRy!" He also asks me every phone call if I am good for a $20 gift card to Walmart like I got him last year, and I say of course. He wanted to hang out for his birthday, I told him we could but we had soccer all day. Since he doesn't do well with crowds he said he would think about it, I told him we could go out to dinner that night and he liked that idea. My parents were out of town so the took him out a couple nights ago to celebrate so I wanted to make sure he had a good day. Well this morning he calls me at 9 am and I was at work and he said can you get me now and that he might want to come to soccer so I said in between games I could get him. So he rode the bus over to our side of town and I got him from the bus stop, he was so excited to see us, and gave me huge hug as usual. He about crapped his pants over the $30 gift card(since he was turning 30 I wanted to get him a $30 instead of $20). He said "a dollar for every year, I like that!" We got to the game and walked up to the field and as soon as we got there he said he was sorry but he needed to leave and that he couldn't handle being there and that he would just wait for the bus across the street to go home and that he was sorry. I held back the tears and he hugged me and left, I just feel so bad for him, and the fact that he suffers so much mentally it is so sad, I could tell he was really struggling. He was so sweet he called me about 1o min later and thanked me for getting him and for the gift card and that he was on his way to walmart, he seriously loves that store. He called me later to say thanks again and that he got some axe body wash and a bunch of chicken wings, he was so excited to tell me about it, bless his little heart. I am so thankful for him and his sweet spirit, and for the love he shows me, I am his favorite he always tells me that. Ryan is such a great kid I just wish he had a normal life, poor guy.